Dealing with rejection can be a painstaking process.
Maybe you were turned down by a crush. Perhaps your choice university sent you a denial letter. That recent job application you sent out? It’s possible your information was met with little interest and you weren’t chosen for the job opening.
No matter your experience with rejection, the emotions felt from such an occurrence are universal. Betrayal, emotional distress, anger – the list could get rather lengthy. But why let those harmful feelings get to you? Why allow one rejection opportunity to swallow your self-confidence?
Life is filled with choices, opportunities, and fate-like happenings. Amidst the abundance of future possibilities, this minute occurrence plays a tiny role. A year after one, harrowing denial, you will have moved on. Or, at the very least, you should have moved on. The notion of letting one bad experience fester for a lengthy period of time should sicken you. Letting another take advantage of your good fortune is a harmful jest towards your self-confidence. Maintaining a relationship clearly not worth your affectionate efforts is likewise a form of self-sabotage.
If done excessively, your self-confidence will drop. Your once shining belief in your future outlook will falter. The hope you previously exuded will shift to despair.
Does this sound familiar?
During this day and age, happiness is dependent on success and failure inflicts emotional distress. This mantra hasn’t been decreed by any single person, nor has it been openly viewed as the truth. Nonetheless, it’s believed and followed by most. If society places success on such a high pedestal, how can one react well to rejection? How can you be expected to move on from denial?
Luckily, you’re not alone in this. Rejection can be handled. Here are some steps worth considering.
1. Remain optimistic.
Don’t let rejection break you. In order to regain composure in light of denial, you must remain optimistic. Life’s trials will prove even more intensive if you are unable to compose yourself emotionally.
One rejection doesn’t ascertain whether you will eventually meet success. Realize that not all opportunities are meant for you. From potential job opportunities, to future love prospects, to acceptance into the local football team – you won’t succeed in everything you attempt.
The right prospect will come along. Learn the art of patience. Concentrate on what you can control in the meantime.
2. Try to understand the opposing view.
Have you considered the view of those who rejected you? Think about the situation that person is in. If this rejection is job-based, realize that your interviewer must choose who will best fit the open position.
You may be up against other candidates. Said applicants may have drastically more experience than you. If so, the hiring manager may find another more appointed for the job. Did you receive a rejection letter from a university? Consider the view of said institution. Your application was likely pulled from a stack of a hundred other student prospects. Deciding whether this particular university will be the best fit for you isn’t necessarily an easy task for the committee. That rejection letter could be sent due to a number of reasons. It’s entirely possible your ACT score didn’t match up with the requirement. Maybe you didn’t take part in enough school activities while attending high-school.
No matter the situation, you must try to comprehend the opposing view. Without giving this notion some thought, you will never move on from rejection.
3. Find out why the rejection occurred.
Consider asking why you were rejected. Only do this if it’s considered acceptable.
For job rejections, you can absolutely follow up with the employer. When notified that another was given the position, ask for an explanation. Do so politely – the employer likely went through some trials just to arrive at a proper decision in a timely fashion. You needn’t bother them without a proper backing. Ask for some feedback on your interview, or press for information on basic work skills you should improve on. Most hiring managers willingly provide this information. For candidates in the top consideration list, the likelihood for constructive criticism is strong.
Take advantage of the opportunity to find out why you were rejected. Moving on from this specific instance of it will remain considerably easier.
4. Learn from the rejection.
There is always something of value worth taking away from any situation.
No matter the type of rejection, learn from it. Were you provided some feedback? If so, don’t take it lightly. Passing off such a valuable critique is a damaging habit. Consider the full meaning behind the response. If you weren’t given any proper criticism, think through the situation. Play it out in your mind. Ask yourself if you could have done anything differently. Ponder whether the opportunity was something for which you were truly suitable.
Could you have put more effort into your resume? Was that spot on the local baseball team considerably more intensive than you were capable of handling? That girl you asked out last night – was she even your type?
By making the effort to learn from rejections, you demeanor will strengthen. When you attempt the same feat again elsewhere, you will have learned what not to do.
5. Don’t take it to heart. At least, not too much.
Rejection is common – don’t let it get to you. Facing denial can be tough, but you cannot take each instance to heart. As mentioned previously, you can’t win everything. Not every opportunity will suit your personality and overall demeanor. If this were the case, life would be much smoother.
Life will push you towards the unknown, and you may crumble from disappointment. Nevertheless, you simply cannot take all of life’s rejections to heart. Your desire to better yourself will lessen, and your optimism will drop considerably. You will lose your sense of self-worth. The time you spend pursuing other possible advances will be pointless. Why? Your concentration will be stuck on a previous denial – a situation that may have occurred months ago.
Do yourself a favor. Don’t take rejections to heart. Your future pursuits will be much better attended.
6. Move on!
Move on from the rejection, but do so with caution. This cannot be achieved on its own. You must consider the previous steps before you will fully master the art of moving on.
Facing denial can belittle you. It can diminish any residing thoughts of self-confidence lingering in your mind. You must rid yourself of these toxic feelings. Stop them from advancing, and in turn, your ability to move on will be better accomplished. Don’t proceed with this step until you are fully prepared. Feeling the ache from a blunt rejection is tough. The better you grip such situations, the more at ease you will feel.
Don’t let rejection claim you.
The effort you put into that job application is far too high. Remain optimistic, and view life with an open-minded outlook. Eventually, denials will become much easier to handle.
Remember – unforeseen opportunities are just around the corner. You simply have to be willing to search, and to remain patient.