The contents of our closets may differ in detail, but the skeletons that haunt you probably worry another. Moving on, no matter how strong you are, is tough.
Getting past the turmoil of a dark past, dealing with a heavy loss, handling the death of a friend – we’ve all been there. So why haven’t you moved on, yet? What’s stopping you from getting over the sticky messes of your past?
You.
You are the primary reason you have yet to move on. Your subconscious, emotions, memories – everything that makes you who you are is standing in your way.
You’re probably thinking this is an exaggeration. That you can’t possibly be the reason you haven’t gotten over that breakup. That your inability to get over the divorce of two loved ones can’t possibly rest on your shoulders.
No, you couldn’t possibly be the only thing standing in the way of you moving on with your life since that layoff 6 months ago.
Your inability to get over these things rest on you. You alone must get past it.
Take a deep breath. Consider your past with an open mind.
What bits of your life have you not moved on from? What’s stopping you?
Here are some reasons you haven’t gotten over the tribulations of your past.
– You Blame the World For Your Problems
No matter the issue, it’s never your fault
In your opinion, the cause of your breakup with a long-term boyfriend couldn’t possibly have been because of you. No, it was because of him. He couldn’t handle the direction your relationship was going. He didn’t love you enough. He didn’t spend enough time with you.
If you can’t even consider the fact that you may have caused the breakup, you’ll never get over it. You proceed with the mindset that it’s you against the world. And when it comes to your problems, the world is always at fault.
Catch my drift?
Your problems, no matter how tough, are personal. If you continue blaming others for consequences you had a hand in creating, you’ll never move on.
– You’re Unable To Look On The Bright Side
When things get tough, optimism is often chucked out the window. But the longer you allow that, the less likely you’ll get over your past.
If your mind is always cloaked in grief, stress, and fear the mist will never lift. You will never be capable of pushing onwards because your subconscious won’t allow it. In order to move on from job loss, a house fire, and even death you must be optimistic.
Obviously, this will take time. Allowing yourself a grief period is normal. But letting it control you will lead to even worse consequences. Find a way to look on the bright side – even if it feels impossible. Moving past your problems will get easier.
– You Forge Relationships With Toxic People
Toxic folks feed off your energy. Known as Emotional Vampires, they suck the good from your life and replace it with negativity. The longer you let these people remain a part of your life, the more difficult it will be to break away. The tougher it will be to move on from bouts of grief and sadness.
End your relationships with these people. Or, at the very least, make them less personal. It will be tough – these folks won’t make it an easy task. But you have to try.
You are better than the person they are forcing you to become. Lift that veil of toxicity from your life. Soon, getting over your past will no longer be impossible.
– You’re Stuck in the Past
Revisiting the memories of your past is healthy. But drowning yourself in those recollections is catastrophic for your emotional well-being.
Perhaps you didn’t do well in high-school. Maybe you had to repeat 10th grade. Let’s consider the plethora of emotions you likely felt at the time. Angst, sadness, fear, anxiety – the list for this particular experience could probably continue.
Sure, recalling that moment may be beneficial 15 years down the road. Maybe to help your son get through his high-school years, you tell him your story. Perhaps you discuss how you overcame your worries and eventually graduated with honors.
No matter how tempting – especially in this situation – you can’t let the emotions you felt then take center stage once more. Recall your past. Don’t relive it. Don’t get stuck in a place you’ve since gotten over. If you do, future difficulties will only prove more difficult to get through.
Moving On Is Easy
Getting over tense situations and difficult circumstances feels tough. You aren’t the only one who feels this way.
But you can move on. Figure out how you’re stopping yourself from moving on. Soon, you will be facing new adventures with a fresh outlook.
